It's 3.25 am in the morning and I still dunno why I can't sleep. Huhu. Thank God tomorrow is a Sunday. Ops... today already is Sunday officially. Hehe.
Hm, not everyday there will be sunshine. Throughout the 20 years of my life, I realized I spent too much time worrying, having severe insecurities, days of low confidence, fear, etc etc. They are really miserable. Hm, I am really tired of feeling miserable. Maybe is why I find myself unable to sleep tonight. Haha.
Firstly, I am whole, able to see, hear, feel, taste, and speak. I am healthy and in one piece. I have a loving family and great friends, in medical school, JPA money flowing in, caring buddy line. I have God, I have cell group, what more can I ask?
Life is too short to worry unnecessarily. I've come to realize the core of my past dissatisfactions. I am sure everyone has their own expectations in life. Everyone reacts differently when the expectations weren't met. So if we ask ourselves, how will we cope if our expectations aren't met? The answer is, happiness is a choice. It's not a destination. It's about living in the present, appreciating the present moment. So what if we don't get what we want, So what if we are rejected, turned down, and looked like a fool? It doesn't matter. We are still breathing. In a nutshell, even if our expectations aren't met, we still need to see the positive side of things. Life goes on. A famous quote, "when one door of happiness closes, another opens" A simple key, Contribute without expecting. =)
One thing I really learn and ought to practise, do not take ourselves too seriously. Learn to laugh at one's mistakes. It's okay to be silly or a fool. Happiness is not what we are given the most, is what we make the most by what we are given. Again, life is too short. Worry less and be positive. A simple secret to be happy, just be happy. hehe.
So, now what I choose from life? Happiness, Joy, Laughter, Fun and Spontaneity. I choose a happy fruitful and meaningful life. Stay happy everyone. Cheers~ =)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Regrets of the dying
My dad will always share meaningful and inspiring emails with me. Few days back, while checking my mail, I found a really good one. So, I am going to share here as well. =)
The 1st regret: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
Yup, this is very true. Sometimes, we tend to live up to the expections that others set for us without knowing if that is what really makes us happy. I admit I am one of them. Haha. Hesitations will always be there. But come to think of it, we only have one life, therefore, in years to come, we'll most likely regret the things we didn't do than the silly stupid mistakes we made.
2nd regret: I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
In a nutshell, is ok to slack. hehe.
3rd regret: I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Hmm, So, to hell with other's feelings =p. No, just kidding. In a way, supressed feelings will only kill us. Most of the time, telling the truth and how you really feel is the way to solve the problem.
4th regret: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
True true. Never neglect or forget old relationships.
5th regret: I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
I second this. Honestly, I think most people had their own insecurities and days of low confidence. =(. We just kept wondering why we aren't good enough. Haiz. If only we are content, we will just be happy. But is only human nature to want more and the things our heart desire though they are not possible at times. So, one of the best ways is to stay true to ourselves, be ourselves and contribute without expecting. That will definitely help =)
"One day your life will flash before your eyes and make sure its worth watching"
The 1st regret: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
Yup, this is very true. Sometimes, we tend to live up to the expections that others set for us without knowing if that is what really makes us happy. I admit I am one of them. Haha. Hesitations will always be there. But come to think of it, we only have one life, therefore, in years to come, we'll most likely regret the things we didn't do than the silly stupid mistakes we made.
2nd regret: I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
In a nutshell, is ok to slack. hehe.
3rd regret: I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Hmm, So, to hell with other's feelings =p. No, just kidding. In a way, supressed feelings will only kill us. Most of the time, telling the truth and how you really feel is the way to solve the problem.
4th regret: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
True true. Never neglect or forget old relationships.
5th regret: I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
I second this. Honestly, I think most people had their own insecurities and days of low confidence. =(. We just kept wondering why we aren't good enough. Haiz. If only we are content, we will just be happy. But is only human nature to want more and the things our heart desire though they are not possible at times. So, one of the best ways is to stay true to ourselves, be ourselves and contribute without expecting. That will definitely help =)
"One day your life will flash before your eyes and make sure its worth watching"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Daisy
I still remember watching this movie right after my SPM. At that time, Malaysia is really lucky to have veoh but up until 2008, it was banned. =( I've always been a fan of Jeon Ji Hyun. So, browsing through all the Korean movies, this one caught my eye. And also the fact that Jeon Ji Hyun is the main actress. =) This is not the typical sad love movie. It is very beautifully portrayed by the famous Hong Kong movie director, Andrew Lau Wai Keung. Actually, there are 2 versions. One of them is the Hong Kong version and the other is the international version. I watched the international cut and I've read from some forums that the 2 versions vary considerably but the international cut is much more preferred by many. =)
The theme is love. But... not really. It is about the love triangle between a cop, an assassin and a street painter. Both the cop and assasin fell for the same girl. But somehow, fate has a way of twisting their lives. Daisy first tells the story of how the assasin met the girl and fallen in love with her. Everyday at 4.15 pm, the girl will receive a pot of daisies at her doorstep. But he wouldn't show himself to her. She somehow grew an affection towards her admirer and longed to know who he really is.
"Who is this person who sends me flowers? Why doesn’t he shows himself to me?"
The assasin loves her from afar, always looking at her from afar, following whenever she goes and copying whatever she does. One day, a cop whom so happened to carry a pot of daisies dropped by and asked to be painted a portrait of him. Thinking that her admirer had finally decided to show himself, the girl soon fell in love with the cop thinking he is the one sending her the daisies. Somehow, the cop too fell in love with her and couldn't tell her he wasn't the one she had been searching for. The assasin soon realized the situation.
Of course, in between, there was something tragic that happened which left all 3 of them heartbroken. The girl lost her voice, the cop left the country. (btw, the place they were in is somewhere in Europe, I forgot which country) The assasin then finally showed himself to the girl but had to live in the shadow of the cop.
“I'd built that bridge for you. But I didn’t know that I would be building it for you and him.”
The ending was a sad one. Haha. As you can expect it. But although it is sad, it's not entirely a bad ending as well because finally, she knew whom was the one she really loves from the beginning. All the time, she had been loving the cop only thinking that he was the assasin. So, his love is finally requited. Yay! Although, not for long. Haha. But still, enough to leave an impact =). When I watched the movie, I really like the assasin as well. Lol. Maybe because when he starts firing his gun, he looks so "yeng". Jkjk. No, maybe because he was trained to kill and yet still has a soft side in him. Lolz.. so lame of me. =.=. But anyhow, I feel that his pain is more significant than the cop's.
It is an art movie but in a way, it is not slow at all. Everything is nicely paced and all emotions are beautifully captured. You could almost feel the pain the characters were going through. The assasin was played by Jeong Woo Sung from "A moment to Remember". The cop? Aiks... cannot remember his name le.. >< The cinematography was breathtaking as the setting was somewhere in Europe. Andrew Lau never fails to impress again and of course Jeon Ji Hyun as well. But not everyone is a fan of art films. But in my opinion, this is one of the good movies that should be recommended. It really is beautiful =). Below is the trailer.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Teenage Dream
I think you're pretty
Without any make-up on
I think you're funny
When I tell the punch line wrong
I knew you got me
When you let your walls come down
Down...
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine,
Valentine...
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you're around me
Life's like a movie scene
I wasn't happy until you became my queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I might get your heart racing
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Toninght,tonight,tonight,
Tonight,tonight,tonight
Yoooouuu...
You make me
Feel like
I'm livin' a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
No...
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I might get your heart racing
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight
I think that this version is so much better =)
Without any make-up on
I think you're funny
When I tell the punch line wrong
I knew you got me
When you let your walls come down
Down...
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine,
Valentine...
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you're around me
Life's like a movie scene
I wasn't happy until you became my queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I might get your heart racing
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Toninght,tonight,tonight,
Tonight,tonight,tonight
Yoooouuu...
You make me
Feel like
I'm livin' a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
No...
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I might get your heart racing
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that's what you need
In this Teenage Dream tonight
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight
I think that this version is so much better =)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Hello twenties~
Hm.. how it feels like being 20? haha. I dunno. To me, feels the same. Probably a year older and hopefully wiser. hehe.
Honestly, this year is the most happening and best celebration I had. Usually, every year, I would be happy enough to receive sms-es wishing me happy birthday and I would be busy replying those messages. The thought of my friends remembering and sparing extra time to wish over a small sms already means a lot to me.
But, this year, is really the first time I had such wonderful experience. At first, it was the surprise that my sister gave me which was the handmade cupcakes. It was so nice of her to custom made it with purple and other features that resembles me or used to resemble me. lol. Then, it was cell group that celebrated for me my birthday in sharing together with my buddy, Grace. This was really amazing because first of all, I'm not a christian and I'm only new there and yet they treated me like their own.
So, I thought that's the end of it. 2 cakes should be enough. But there was one final surprise which was the sweetest one. Still makes me smile thinking about it. Haha. In a nutshell, it was planned quite perfectly to make me not aware.
To summarize, I'm just very thankful for all the efforts. The cakes, the gift, the wishes, the thoughts, really makes me a happy 20 year old (what should I call myself... girl, lady, woman? never mind ) 1st year medical student.
I can't really remember what I wished but generally the kind of wishes most people would wish for. Well now, my special day is over. lol. Time really pass us by very fast. Something I've been trying very hard to learn, is to live in the present and really appreciating every moment. So, all the best everyone in studies and stay happy. Hopefully my wishes come true as well. Bye
Honestly, this year is the most happening and best celebration I had. Usually, every year, I would be happy enough to receive sms-es wishing me happy birthday and I would be busy replying those messages. The thought of my friends remembering and sparing extra time to wish over a small sms already means a lot to me.
But, this year, is really the first time I had such wonderful experience. At first, it was the surprise that my sister gave me which was the handmade cupcakes. It was so nice of her to custom made it with purple and other features that resembles me or used to resemble me. lol. Then, it was cell group that celebrated for me my birthday in sharing together with my buddy, Grace. This was really amazing because first of all, I'm not a christian and I'm only new there and yet they treated me like their own.
So, I thought that's the end of it. 2 cakes should be enough. But there was one final surprise which was the sweetest one. Still makes me smile thinking about it. Haha. In a nutshell, it was planned quite perfectly to make me not aware.
To summarize, I'm just very thankful for all the efforts. The cakes, the gift, the wishes, the thoughts, really makes me a happy 20 year old (what should I call myself... girl, lady, woman? never mind ) 1st year medical student.
I can't really remember what I wished but generally the kind of wishes most people would wish for. Well now, my special day is over. lol. Time really pass us by very fast. Something I've been trying very hard to learn, is to live in the present and really appreciating every moment. So, all the best everyone in studies and stay happy. Hopefully my wishes come true as well. Bye
Chasing Pirates
In your message you said, you were goin' to bed, but I'm not done with the night.
So I stayed up and read, but your words in my head, got me mixed up so I turned out the light.
And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
My mind's racing from chasing pirates.
Well the man in there swings while the silliest things, floppin around in my brain.
And I try not to dream but them possible schemes, swim around, wanna drown me in synch.
And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
Oh my mind's racing from chasing pirates.
So I stayed up and read, but your words in my head, got me mixed up so I turned out the light.
And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
My mind's racing from chasing pirates.
Well the man in there swings while the silliest things, floppin around in my brain.
And I try not to dream but them possible schemes, swim around, wanna drown me in synch.
And I, don't know how, to slow it down.
Oh my mind's racing from chasing pirates.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Holiday~
These 2 months passed really fast. haha. Block 1 has ended. Aiks.. I thought yesterday was my orientation. hehe. Anyway, I'm glad my flight this time has no 'spaceshot' effects. I had lunch with my buddy and his gal. Later on, they fetched me to the airport. Then, I met Daphenie while checking in. But the amazing thing is, I was seated next to a 3rd year senior coming back from Sibu. Then I found out she is actually my 3rd year buddy's roommate. haha. We are connected. hehe.
Aiya, today is Monday already. Still nothing productive except being a pig. Tomorrow will get more important things done =)
Block 2 won't be so kind to us anymore according to most seniors =(
Anyway, I've been looking for this song for months. haha. Finally, I found it. =)
Aiya, today is Monday already. Still nothing productive except being a pig. Tomorrow will get more important things done =)
Block 2 won't be so kind to us anymore according to most seniors =(
Anyway, I've been looking for this song for months. haha. Finally, I found it. =)
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