17 again..~

I had a very heart breaking dream. I awoke feeling a deep hollow stab in my heart. haha. Bacause I realized it was only a dream. Well, I had dreamt that I was 17 again. And life was awesome back then. hehe. In fact, it was more than awersome. Like every other teenager, one of my wildest dreams came true when I was 17. Just like a miracle! =D. Only I didn't know it wouldn't last long at that time. I know it's silly of me to ponder back to those days. What we had means more to me than to him and always will stay the same until one day I hope. So, I awoke and immediatelly I realized this is reality. I can't help feeling heartbroken with that but only for a few minutes or so. Well, I'm an adult now. Adults have responsibilities. So time to suck it up. ANd i will =). I will make a list of goals and I will follow them. Or at least, try my best =) 1. Be happy and thankful for everyday 2. Exercise more and reserve time for leisure. 3. Focus more in class and be more hardworking =) That being said, I hope in 5 more years to come when I dreamt bout being 22/23 again, I would recall how awesome life had been then. haha.

One and only

You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day
Lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/one-and-only-lyrics.html }
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me I've learned it

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Adele.. i love her!!

1 month from now

I need a month. I'll get it back eventually ;-)

You have my heart and soul

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Happy

Shit happens. Not just to me. Sometimes, I brought shit to other people's lives as well. But terrible shit happened few years ago. It was just like eating bread that looks so good on the outside, but only to find out it's rotten on the inside. Lol. I know life is a risk. Everything is a risk. All the famous quotations about "we are young, we should take more risks, we should be bold... bla bla bla". I wonder if that is easily said than done. I admit, I had been scared and insecure. Still am honestly secretly deep down. The feeling is like giving away something so important but not knowing what will become of it. I find myself wondering is this true and eternal happiness.

It is really silly actually. Life throws something good at you, and you wonder and doubt anticipating for thr worst to come. haha. I know it was just precautionary steps but it's really exhausting doubting and comparing and analysing. Trust is something important. Hope, perserverence and does not envy. Keeps no record of wrong. I know as long as I do my part, whatever shit that is going to happen, I am going to look back and say "I have no regrets". After all, I gave my best and if shit were to happen, the shit is not my problem. I can't control others. At this moment, I can only give my best and hope for the best.

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
just can’t let go
just trying to play my role
slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by
http://www.elyricsworld.com/happy_lyrics_leona_lewis.html

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So any turns that I can't see
Like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

Insomnia.. kakaka

What I do when I can't sleep? GO ONLINE! lol. My inability to sleep tonight could be I was overexcited by the CNY celebration that just ended few hours ago. Or it could be my happiness that everything turned out great. Or it could be pondering over something that clearly shouldn't be focused over. They say humans ( or it could be just negative people ) are never fully satisfied. They sometimes allow one small unhappy/drawback/mistake/disappointment to affect the overall picture of amazing events that happened. Hm Hm Hmm.. *wonder wonder*

Anyhow, it's such a relief the event turned our great. Yay!! We put so much effort into it. Hoho. If I was an audience that night, I would have damned enjoyed it. I think it's even better than the one in main campus. And this is not a biaz point of view! haha. Because we have limited resources, limited manpower, limited facilities and yet we made the most out of it! haha... fuh.. self gloating.

Alright, I still can't sleep... What else can I write about? *think think*. Okay.. in the process of thinking, my brain is tired already. Goodnight =)

Let's flyy up up here we go~

Here we go, come with me,
There's a world out there that we should see,
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly, fly, fly, flyyy.
Up, up, here we go, go.
Let's fly, fly, fly, flyyy.
Up, up, here we go, go.
Where we stop nobody knows [knows],

Where we go we don't need roads [roads],
Where we stop nobody knows [knows],
To the stars if you really want it,
Got, got a jetpack with your name on it,
Above the clouds in the atmosphere [phere],
Just say the words and we outta here [outta here],
Hold my hand if you feelin' scared [scared],
We flyin' up, up outta here.

Here we go, come with me,
There's a world out there that we should see,
Take my hand, close your eyes,
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer,

Let's fly, fly, fly, flyy.
Up, up here we go, go.
Let's fly, fly, fly, flyy.
Up, up here we go, go. [Here we go]
Where we stop nobody knows [knows],

Baby we can stay fly like a G6,
Shop the streets of Tokyo get your fly kicks,

Girl you always on my mind,
Got my head up in the sky,
And I'm never looking down feelin' priceless, yeah,
Where we at, only few have known
Go on the next level, Super Mario
I hope this works out, Cardio,
Til' then let's fly, Geronimo.

Here we go, come with me,
There's a world out there that we should see,
Take my hand, close your eyes,
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer,

Let's fly, [Yo]
Nah I never been in space before,
But I never seen a face like yours,
You make me feel like I could touch the planets,
You want the moon, girl watch me grab it,
See I never seen the stars this close,
You got me stuck off the way you glow,
I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Here we go, Come with me,
There's a world out there that we should see,
Take my hand, close your eyes,
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer,
Let's fly, fly, fly, flyy.
Up, up here we go, go.
Let's fly, fly, fly, flyy.
Up, up here we go, go.
Where we stop nobody knows, knows, knows.



I'm so in love with this song haha

An Education

I was lucky to catch this film after my STPM as it wasn't even aired in Malaysian Cinemas. Haha. I got it through the traditional illegal way. (my friend downloaded it =p). This is a very unique "coming of age" movie. In the London suburbs of 1961, life was pleasant, but not exciting. It first introduced the lead character whom is Jenny, a 16-year-old girl. She is bright, pretty and on her way to be accepted into Oxford University.
But her uneventful life changed when she met David, a man almost twice her age. He soon charmed her and they began a romantic relationship. David introduced her to his friends and together, they explored cultural activities. He was able to convince her parents by going all out to prove that his interest in her is not improper. They allowed him to take her to concerts, dinners and even to Paris. Back then in the 1960's, going to Paris was a very exotic thing to do. The colours soon came to Jenny's life and she was the talk among her friends in school for dating an older man and being able to see Paris.
"Silly schoolgirls are always getting seduced by glamorous older men."

Jenny soon got accustomed to the life David and his companions showed her. Along the way, she began to question the true meaning of life. Is life all about studying and working hard to be happy? Doing the same routined boring things every day and following the norm of society. Is there more to life than these? Instead of studying all the difficult studies, she could have fled to Paris and experience love living the life she had been dreaming of. David could easily offer to her all those.
"Studying is hard and boring. Teaching is hard and boring. So, what you're telling me is to be bored, and then bored, and finally bored again, but this time for the rest of my life? This whole stupid country is bored! There's no life in it, or color, or fun! It's probably just as well the Russians are going to drop a nuclear bomb on us any day now. So my choice is to do something hard and boring, or to marry my... Jew, and go to Paris and Rome and listen to jazz, and read, and eat good food in nice restaurants, and have fun! It's not enough to educate us anymore Ms. Walters. You've got to tell us why you're doing it."

When David proposed, she made the decision to forgo her studies. She dropped out from school. Okay, now the following will be spoilers. Jenny later learned of David's way of making money. Going to concerts, fancy dinners and art galleries, she realized they were all just a temporary phase. One day while taking Jenny and her parents for dinner, Jenny found a stack of letters in David's car and she discovered his deepest secret. She began to regret her decisions but all seemed too late already as she had already dropped out from school. All her classmates had already sat for the A levels and on their way to their respective universties. But of course, at the end, there is always a savior. None other than Jenny's class teacher. =)

Okay, to summarize, the reason why I love this movie apart from the vintage style, music and breathtakingly beautiful settings (Paris!!!), it conveys a very deep meaning especially for coming of age teens. This is the movie which I can really relate to. Although I'm no longer a teen but I'm still a "coming of age" adult. Haha. Sometimes, we wonder is life really worth living if it's the same old typical and boring ones every day. Having to study, going for exams, all the stress, they are all really weighing us down. We definitely reflect once in a while wondering, will doing all those make us happy? How wonderful my life would have been if I could meet a man who would show me places, bring me on tours, bring excitement and adventure into my life. Instead of having to study the amazingly bulky syllabus and going for exams. It's too difficult.

But there is a beautiful message being laid out from the movie. The truth? "There is no shortcut to achieve the life we want. School, study is sometime boring and hard, but we get educated, we learnt the meaning of life from it." =). This is very true. There is really no easy way in life. Everything is difficult. The only good things that come from easy ways are only temporary. By going through the hard way, we learn. We learn great values of life. =)

Here is the trailer of the movie. Highly recommended folks ;)

Blissful 2011

It's the first day of the New Year yo. Since it's new year, we are supposed to look forward and make a new beginning. But how come I don't feel a sense of liberation. haha. Perhaps because my exam is next week and celebrating events leave me heavy hearted.

I remember those silly times where I used to wish for a time machine. When it was 2007, I wished for a time machine to go back to June 2006. A time where I presumed was one of the greatest moment that happened to me. I was dead wrong of course. Haih. Can never go back. No matter how bleak and ugly the present is.

Happy new year again. New year resolutions? To be content and strong. =)

Pale Blue Eyes =)

Sometimes I feel so happy,
Sometimes I feel so sad.
Sometimes I feel so happy,
But mostly you just make me mad.
Baby, you just make me mad.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

Thought of you as my mountain top,
Thought of you as my peak.
Thought of you as everything,
I've had but couldn't keep.
I've had but couldn't keep.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

If I could make the world as pure and strange as what I see,
I'd put you in the mirror,
I put in front of me.
I put in front of me.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

Skip a life completely.
Stuff it in a cup.
She said, Money is like us in time,
It lies, but can't stand up.
Down for you is up."
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

It was good what we did yesterday.
And I'd do it once again.
The fact that you are married,
Only proves, you're my best friend.
But it's truly, truly a sin.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.



I find the lyrics a tad sad and touching but hauntingly beautiful. I think there's actually a story behind this song. Seems like he's in love with someone whose attached. Perhaps, even indulged in a short term relationship with her but it has to end soon. None the less, still love the song =)

The right way

Thinkin back to the time when I was so into you
I thought that I knew it all
my perception of love
well it was something to do
but I didn't expect the thought
I understand your feelings of doubt
I know I must have let you down
but I wonder would you be around
if I loved you the right way
Loved you the right way
I would have put that smile upon your face
Loved you the right way
Never thought that I'd thank you for the hurt and the pain
and the changes you put me through
I guess I needed to look at my intentions again
I didn't give enough to you
My mind has never been so clear
and I feel my happiness is near
But I wonder if you'd still be here if I loved you the right way
coz you deserve the right way
I should have put that smile upon your face
I should have kept you in my warm embrace
Loved you the right way
Sometimes love is so mistaken
simple values put aside
Mind love is just a ride
When it's over no one seems to care
If i ever find myself with someone new
I'll remember what I learned from you
Yeah
and I will love her the right way
love her the right way
I will put that smile on her face
I will keep her warm in my embrace
I will love her baby
make each day a better day
never gonna sacrifice a mean
I will love her the right way
I'm gonna love her baby
I'm gonna love her baby



Opss.. the video clip is so... hehe. but don't focus on that ya. just listen to the song ;)

When will I see your face again..

Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You'd Come Again,
But It's Not Fair, Cos You're Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Chaaanged,

I'm A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I'd Hear You Call My Name,

So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love Youuu...Will I See Your Face Again,

Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Nowww,
'Cos I Don't Know How Much Longer I can Waaait,

I'm A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You're Coming In, I know My Life's Begun,
Tell Me Girl...


When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

You Know That All My Life I've Been Waaaiting,
Waiting For Sooome, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can't Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Awaaaay, Flyyyyyy Away,

Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I've Only Seen Youuu, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)


When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That's What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will iii See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh...

Jamie Scott & The Town - When Will I See Your Face Again

Wow, the girl is so pretty. I love her skin and sense of dressing. Really chic =)

As said before, I will be sharing my ups and downs. But now looking back, it seems like there are more downs than ups. Or was it I was too lazy to share any ups. At this moment now, the only word to describe my feelings is helplessness. So much sadness and hurt. I feel so defeated. In earlier posts, I mentioned about needs without expectation. It seems like bullshit to me now. haha. I'm not superhuman. It's always so easy to say. But when you wanna put it to practice? Haha... that's when the problem comes. Very hard to accept the fact. So painful to embrace reality. One fall after another. Haha. Like it's cursed. Forever out of reach. So pathethic I guess. Can't get rid of the sudden hurt overnight. Dunno, just want to be a normal person tonight and cry.

I just got lost

"The bottom line, life is about learning, whether you're in school or not. We are humans. We make mistakes. But your lowest moment might also be the one where you begin to rise, and rise. So, double back. Regroup. Brush yourself off, and try again. "

=)

Dancing in the moonlight

Loving someone equals to suffering. Being loved equals to happiness. Is it true? Lol. That statement was stated to me few years back which didn’t knock any sense in me at that time. Our young lives, we all dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if there is someone out there searching for us just as how we are searching for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. Back to the statement, I think loving someone will only be suffering if it's an unrequited one. Haha. And depending on the level of expectations one holds. Being loved not necessarily can make one happy. Being loved by someone that will not make you reciprocate equals to helplessness. It only takes two to be happy.

To make it clear, though I might be in one of the two unfortunate situations, I will still not feel any suffering. Because being able to feel at least makes me alive and human. I still feel cherished no matter what. A very beautiful message I've read somewhere, "Love those in your life without expectations. Accept them as they are and take what they want to give without judgement."

Haha. =D

To plan or be planned... lol.

The very famous quote, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail". I suppose that would apply to our studies, works, and something technical. True enough, if we don't plan our timetable well or allocate proper time for serious works to be done, we are definitely asking for trouble. I'm someone who plans a lot and yet troubles still come running after me. This is because I always plan for the wrong reasons. Haha.

Last Saturday, I was at church camp in Lundu and in one of the sharing sessions, it was brought up that we don't have to do anything or plan anything. We just have to walk the paths planned by God. God has already planned a beautiful journey for each and everyone of us. Haha... at that time, hearing that made me doubt the truth in the statement. It made me wonder how I can walk this life blindly without any visions? Haha. But I think I'm beginning to see the truth in the statement now.

The above statement revealed by Aunty Mei Ling is from the religious point of view. But if we look at the non religious point of view, the message is actually the same. I'm sure most are aware of the book, "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. The 'secret' had actually been practised by many great world leaders long long time ago. Adolf Hitler was said to have used this concept as well. Haha. So, what is the 'secret'? In the book, it taught us how to get what we want from life. It's so simple and easy which involves only 3 simple steps.

The 1st step is to choose what we want from life. It is just like the analogy of picking an item from a catalogue or food from a menu. Haha. The 2nd step is to believe that we will receive what we chose in the 1st step. Finally, the 3rd step is receive. You only have to wait and receive what you chose. It is said the universe will works in way and will grant us what we want. We just have to be aligned with the universe.

Sounds easy right? But the catch is most people would already fail in the 2nd step. Once you fail this step, you cannot proceed to the 3rd step and this results in you not being able to achieve what you want from life. I know the believing part is not easy. Haha. It's human nature to doubt and hesitate. It sounds too simple that we asked ourselves, "Is this really going to work? Just by 3 steps and not doing anything, how the hell can our goals be achieved?" But miraciously, cancer patients not receiving any medical treatment actually recovered from their illness just by believing they are healthy and cancer-free. Okay, there are a few important pointers in each step.

The 1st step which is choosing, we only have to choose once. We don't have to keep thinking about it, keep wishing about, keep hoping about it. We only have to choose once and just leave it at there. The 2nd step, believe means BELIEVE. Haha. I don't know any pointer for this as me myself always fail at this step too. The 3rd step is just simple, just wait and it will come to us. Now, I am beginning to see the truth in the statement revealed during the sharing because we all come to this world having our respective goals and desires. Even if we don't reveal them, we've somehow unintentionally planted it out to the universe. Once, we've set our goals, we don't have to keep worrying or thinking or expect anything from them. We just carry on with our lives, do what is right, continue doing the right thing (align ourselves with the universe), the universe somehow will work in ways we can never imagine to grant us with what we want. We don't have to keep pondering when will the day come. Just let go, live life and enjoy the present. That is why Aunty Mei Ling said, "Don't keep planning. God has already planned a beautiful path for you. All you need to do is just walk the path. As simple as that." I guess the message is God knows our little desires and He has ways of granting them. We don't have to keep planning and expecting things to happen. It will happen somehow, just not how we imagined them to be.

Yes, at times, I plan too much. And expects them to happen according to plan. When expectations aren't met, disappointment comes. Haha. But the most risky of all is when we actually plan something that is not meant to be, we somehow neglect something already planned beautifully for us. Anyway, in a nutshell, Live life, enjoy the present. Always hope but do not expect. And may the "secret" helps in achieving what you want from life! =)
Psstt.. keep believing! Haha.

Must get back on track !

At times like these, I have to admit, I wish I'm at home with my family. I kept hearing people saying "even the most independent individual is homesick". I'm not exactly homesick. I just miss my home. How good it is being in the company of my family, going for dinner every weekend, being able to watch Astro and sleeping on my bed. Lol.

Block 1 made me aware of the pros being here. I'm definitely thankful for all the lovely company I have here. Being far from home is good as well in the sense that we establish a stronger relationship among ourselves. Since most of us are far from home, we somehow grew an affection towards one another, taking care of one another, celebrate events together and a whole lot other amazing things. Being able to experience such moments while in the midst of growing up and discovering ourselves is something very memorable. This is why I really enjoyed block 1. It was like a breath of fresh air to me.

But I'm not saying things are totally the opposite in block 2. It's just that reality really hit me. Given 5 years(hopefully no extensions) here and only 4 weeks of holidays per year, just made me realize I'm going to spend most of my time here without ever seeing my family and spending time with them, and the next thing I know, I would be graduating, working and straying from them already. Haha. I probably think too far. But, I have nothing to complain nor am I in any state of distress. I only just longed to be home, to be able to watch a Saturday night movie, to go for dinners and shopping every weekend, waking up on a Sunday morning in my own room. Those are the things I am yearning for.

Which is why I'm so determined to go through this exam and search through my new block 3 timetable for any free slots to go home on Fridays. Hehe. What's 400 bucks or 500 bucks? No amount of money can even buy such brief moment of eternity of being able to be at home. It's worth it. The Air Asia turbulence, the delay flights, the travel sickness, the packing, the unpacking, the money spent, the time spent... is all worth it.

Back to square one

It's 3.25 am in the morning and I still dunno why I can't sleep. Huhu. Thank God tomorrow is a Sunday. Ops... today already is Sunday officially. Hehe.

Hm, not everyday there will be sunshine. Throughout the 20 years of my life, I realized I spent too much time worrying, having severe insecurities, days of low confidence, fear, etc etc. They are really miserable. Hm, I am really tired of feeling miserable. Maybe is why I find myself unable to sleep tonight. Haha.

Firstly, I am whole, able to see, hear, feel, taste, and speak. I am healthy and in one piece. I have a loving family and great friends, in medical school, JPA money flowing in, caring buddy line. I have God, I have cell group, what more can I ask?

Life is too short to worry unnecessarily. I've come to realize the core of my past dissatisfactions. I am sure everyone has their own expectations in life. Everyone reacts differently when the expectations weren't met. So if we ask ourselves, how will we cope if our expectations aren't met? The answer is, happiness is a choice. It's not a destination. It's about living in the present, appreciating the present moment. So what if we don't get what we want, So what if we are rejected, turned down, and looked like a fool? It doesn't matter. We are still breathing. In a nutshell, even if our expectations aren't met, we still need to see the positive side of things. Life goes on. A famous quote, "when one door of happiness closes, another opens" A simple key, Contribute without expecting. =)

One thing I really learn and ought to practise, do not take ourselves too seriously. Learn to laugh at one's mistakes. It's okay to be silly or a fool. Happiness is not what we are given the most, is what we make the most by what we are given. Again, life is too short. Worry less and be positive. A simple secret to be happy, just be happy. hehe.

So, now what I choose from life? Happiness, Joy, Laughter, Fun and Spontaneity. I choose a happy fruitful and meaningful life. Stay happy everyone. Cheers~ =)

Regrets of the dying

My dad will always share meaningful and inspiring emails with me. Few days back, while checking my mail, I found a really good one. So, I am going to share here as well. =)

The 1st regret: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


Yup, this is very true. Sometimes, we tend to live up to the expections that others set for us without knowing if that is what really makes us happy. I admit I am one of them. Haha. Hesitations will always be there. But come to think of it, we only have one life, therefore, in years to come, we'll most likely regret the things we didn't do than the silly stupid mistakes we made.

2nd regret: I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


In a nutshell, is ok to slack. hehe.

3rd regret: I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


Hmm, So, to hell with other's feelings =p. No, just kidding. In a way, supressed feelings will only kill us. Most of the time, telling the truth and how you really feel is the way to solve the problem.

4th regret: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


True true. Never neglect or forget old relationships.

5th regret: I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.


I second this. Honestly, I think most people had their own insecurities and days of low confidence. =(. We just kept wondering why we aren't good enough. Haiz. If only we are content, we will just be happy. But is only human nature to want more and the things our heart desire though they are not possible at times. So, one of the best ways is to stay true to ourselves, be ourselves and contribute without expecting. That will definitely help =)

"One day your life will flash before your eyes and make sure its worth watching"