17 again..~

I had a very heart breaking dream. I awoke feeling a deep hollow stab in my heart. haha. Bacause I realized it was only a dream. Well, I had dreamt that I was 17 again. And life was awesome back then. hehe. In fact, it was more than awersome. Like every other teenager, one of my wildest dreams came true when I was 17. Just like a miracle! =D. Only I didn't know it wouldn't last long at that time. I know it's silly of me to ponder back to those days. What we had means more to me than to him and always will stay the same until one day I hope. So, I awoke and immediatelly I realized this is reality. I can't help feeling heartbroken with that but only for a few minutes or so. Well, I'm an adult now. Adults have responsibilities. So time to suck it up. ANd i will =). I will make a list of goals and I will follow them. Or at least, try my best =) 1. Be happy and thankful for everyday 2. Exercise more and reserve time for leisure. 3. Focus more in class and be more hardworking =) That being said, I hope in 5 more years to come when I dreamt bout being 22/23 again, I would recall how awesome life had been then. haha.

One and only

You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day
Lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/one-and-only-lyrics.html }
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me I've learned it

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Adele.. i love her!!

1 month from now

I need a month. I'll get it back eventually ;-)

You have my heart and soul

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Happy

Shit happens. Not just to me. Sometimes, I brought shit to other people's lives as well. But terrible shit happened few years ago. It was just like eating bread that looks so good on the outside, but only to find out it's rotten on the inside. Lol. I know life is a risk. Everything is a risk. All the famous quotations about "we are young, we should take more risks, we should be bold... bla bla bla". I wonder if that is easily said than done. I admit, I had been scared and insecure. Still am honestly secretly deep down. The feeling is like giving away something so important but not knowing what will become of it. I find myself wondering is this true and eternal happiness.

It is really silly actually. Life throws something good at you, and you wonder and doubt anticipating for thr worst to come. haha. I know it was just precautionary steps but it's really exhausting doubting and comparing and analysing. Trust is something important. Hope, perserverence and does not envy. Keeps no record of wrong. I know as long as I do my part, whatever shit that is going to happen, I am going to look back and say "I have no regrets". After all, I gave my best and if shit were to happen, the shit is not my problem. I can't control others. At this moment, I can only give my best and hope for the best.

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
just can’t let go
just trying to play my role
slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by
http://www.elyricsworld.com/happy_lyrics_leona_lewis.html

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So any turns that I can't see
Like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

Insomnia.. kakaka

What I do when I can't sleep? GO ONLINE! lol. My inability to sleep tonight could be I was overexcited by the CNY celebration that just ended few hours ago. Or it could be my happiness that everything turned out great. Or it could be pondering over something that clearly shouldn't be focused over. They say humans ( or it could be just negative people ) are never fully satisfied. They sometimes allow one small unhappy/drawback/mistake/disappointment to affect the overall picture of amazing events that happened. Hm Hm Hmm.. *wonder wonder*

Anyhow, it's such a relief the event turned our great. Yay!! We put so much effort into it. Hoho. If I was an audience that night, I would have damned enjoyed it. I think it's even better than the one in main campus. And this is not a biaz point of view! haha. Because we have limited resources, limited manpower, limited facilities and yet we made the most out of it! haha... fuh.. self gloating.

Alright, I still can't sleep... What else can I write about? *think think*. Okay.. in the process of thinking, my brain is tired already. Goodnight =)